Fragment from a book i’ll never write | Part 2
4:25:00 PM
Ukoliko niste, obavezno prvo pročitajte prvi deo ove priče (inače ovaj tekst neće imati nekog smisla).
“Šta misliš o njima?”
“O kome?”
“Pa o ljudima, generalno.” Uvukao je dim, a onda dodao “One koje tako skoncetrisano promatraš”.
Podigla je obrvu. Šta ovaj čovek želi? Sedam ujutru je, nije joj padalo na pamet da se upušta u filozofske rasprave.
“Ne mislim ništa. Ne znam ih i ne želim da ih znam. Ne zanimaju me činjenice. Više volim da im zamislim život onako kako ja želim, eto.”
“Deluješ jako društveno” nakezio joj se.
“Sam si sebi najbolje društvo.” Tu je nameravala da zaćuti, ali nešto ju je povuklo da nastavi da priča sa ovim previše znatiželjnim čovekom. Bila je svesna da je to nešto usamljenost i želja sa ljudskom interakcijom koja se ne svodi na razgovoranja tek da bi se ispunila tišina i čekanje na red da govoriš umesto pažljivog slušanja. A i lakše je otvoriti dušu strancu.
“Ne uklapam se baš dobro sa ostalima. Rekao bi čovek da štrčim, ali zapravo baš suprotno. Uvek sam bila neprimetna i negde u pozadini. Svi koji poznajem bi me opisali kao “okej”, ni kod koga ne izazivam neku jaču rekaciju. Prosto sam tu i to mi je u redu. Niko ne očekuje ništa posebno od mene. Jedino što želim da me neko razume, da me stvarno razume, ali možda kod mene ni nema ništa specijalno da se razume.”
Tad je procenila da zvuči previše patetično, pa je prestala.
“Ima ljudi čiji je život trag u vodi. Nevidljivi su, nečujni, nestvarni, bez otisaka u peščanoj pustinji čovečanstva. Ne znamo odakle su među nas došli, a kad odu, zašto su i kuda otišli.”
“Molim?”
“Borislav Pekić. Početak jedne njegove knjige. Uklapa se u to što si mi sad ispričala o sebi. Ali pričaj mi još. Ko si ti?”
“Samo ako Vi meni ispričate ko ste Vi. Mada nema puno toga da se kaže.”
“Može. Ali prvo ti.”
Osetila se malo glupo što je pričala toliko toga o sebi potpunom strancu, skitnici koja je sedela na stanici da bi se ugrejala. Ali joj nije više bilo važno, ionako odlazi odavde, pa je počela:
“Zovem se Ana. Imam 25 godina. Imam starijeg brata i mlađu sestru. Ja sam srednje dete. Moji roditelji rade u banci. Završila sam fakultet. Sa prosekom 8. Sad sam našla posao, zbog kog treba da se preselim. Zato sam ovde. I…” Nije znala šta bi još rekla. Šta još ima da se kaže?
“To bi bilo to”, rekla je posle kraćeg ćutanja. “Sad Vi”.
“Pretrgla si se. Ali dobro. Sad ću ja ispričati moju priču, možda te inspiriše da kažeš nešto što ne može da se vidi iz dokumenata.
Rođen sam prilično daleko odavde…”
(Odlomak romana koju nikad neću napisati - deo drugi. Treći deo očekujte 9. oktobra)
_____________________________________
If you haven’t already, make sure to read part 1 of this story. Because otherwise this wouldn’t make much sense.
“What do you think about them?”
“About who?”
“About people, in general”. He inhaled the smoke, and then added: “About people you observe so assiduously”.
She raised her eyebrow. What does this man wants? It’s 7AM, it’s ridiculously early for philosophical discussion. Or any discussion.
“I don’t think anything. I don’t know them and I don’t want to know them. I don’t care about facts. I just like to imagine them and their life the way I want to, that’s all.”
“Seems like you’re a social butterfly”, he grinned at her.
“You’re your own best company”. She wanted to stop talking to this too curious (maybe even noisy) man, but something made her continue. She was aware that that something was loneliness and desire for human interaction that doesn’t consist of talking just to fill the silence and waiting your turn to speak instead of listening carefully. And it’s easier to pour your heart out to a stranger.
“I don’t really fit with others. You would tell that that makes me stand out, but it’s actually the opposite. I was always invisible, always somewhere in the background. Everyone i know would describe me as “ok”. No one loves me or hates me, i’m just “ok”. I’m just kinda there and that’s okay with me. No one expects anything from me. All I want is someone to understand me, to really understand me, but maybe there’s nothing special to be understood when it comes to me”.
She thought she sounded too pathetic so she shut up.
“There are people whose lives are but a ripple in the water. Invisible, inaudible, unreal, they leave no print in the sandy desert of humankind. We do not know whence they came into our midst, and when they depart, we know not why or where they have gone.”
“What?”
“Borislav Pekić. It’s a beginning of one of his books.It reminded me of what you just told me about yourself. But tell me more. Who are you?”
“Only if you tell me who are you. But there’s not much about me to tell.”
“Sure, but you first.”
She felt a little bit awkward telling an absolute stranger, a tramp who was in the station to warm up, so many things about herself. But she’s leaving anyway, so she started:
“My name is Ana. I’m 25. I have older brother and younger sister. I’m the middle child. My parents work at the bank. I finished university. Now I found a job in another country so I have to move. That’s why i’m here. And…” She didn’t know what else to say. Was there anything else to be said?
“That’s it”, she said after short period of silence. “Your turn”.
“Wow, you told me so much” he responded sarcastically. “But that’s okay. Now i’ll tell you my story, maybe it will inspire you to tell me something that’s not written in the documents.
I was born far away from here…”
(Fragment from a book i’ll never write, part 2. Next part will be online on 9th October)
Other stories: Mr. Nobody • 2084.
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71 comments
Quite an unusual story exploring the feelings of someone who doesn't really want to be social but enjoys observing others. Good characters and interesting to explore the personality of an introvert.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteThis is such a great idea, to start writing and see where it takes you. Interesting to hear her description of herself, and to mull it over in this context.
ReplyDeleteYes interesting idea to let the writing take you somewhere. Enjoyed the character exploration, too.
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I'm glad :)
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this. Hopefully we will learn more about her in the coming post.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely will in one of the next chapters!
DeleteI wanted to carry on reading - it's so interesting. You're a great writer ☺️
ReplyDeleteThank you! <3
DeleteWhy won't she share more? Where is he from? Ooh the suspense!
ReplyDeleteThis is really interesting. You do have talent! I look forward to the next part.
ReplyDeleteI feel like Ana is me and we share the same room, I am the same its kind of eerie.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really interesting conversation between strangers. It seems like the old man has spent a lot of time observing from the outside too.
ReplyDeleteMeni se ovo jako dopalo, svaka čast i samo nastavi sa pisanjem..
ReplyDeleteHvala ti, hoću :)
DeleteWriting is such a great way to explore places and people. You need to observe everything so carefully.
ReplyDeleteI hope you post more! I enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad! Don't worry, i will :)
Deletethis is quite educative to me. Thanks 4 sharing
ReplyDeleteSuch a great read! I am ready for you to publish the next part now!
ReplyDeleteKeep going, keep writing! Who knows where it will go if you try it? I think you'll be surprised.
ReplyDeleteI think you should write more, you are doing it so well, you know how to keep your readers in suspense, let us know when the next part is up.
ReplyDeleteThank you! i wrote it in the post, next part will be up on October 9th :)
DeleteThe story just keep getting more and more interesting. I can't wait for the next chapter. You're an amazing writer! I would love to read more.
ReplyDeleteThanks! <3
DeleteI can't wait for the next part! I love where this story is heading! You are a great writer!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie :) x
DeleteYour writing is lovely. Keep it up. I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteThis is very interesting piece! Have you ever considered writing a book or novel?
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think i'm not ready to do it properly, but maybe someday :)
DeleteA book you'll never great but you are writing it!! I can't wait to read what happens next...
ReplyDeleteGreat idea to start writing and see where it goes. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to your main character.
ReplyDeleteKonacno drugi deo! “Ne uklapam se baš dobro sa ostalima. Rekao bi čovek da štrčim, ali zapravo baš suprotno. Uvek sam bila neprimetna i negde u pozadini. Svi koji poznajem bi me opisali kao “okej”, ni kod koga ne izazivam neku jaču rekaciju." ovo je tako nesto sto bih ja rekla. Divan stil pisanja imas, ako to vec nisam rekla. Jedva cekam 9. oktobar!
ReplyDeleteBorka, xx
Hvala ti puno :*
DeleteLooking forward to the next part! You write really good!! I loved to read part one and two up until now. Very curious about the man's story.
ReplyDeleteI have a book I have been writing mentally for quite some time but have not gathered the courage to share it yet. Hopefully, we face our fears soon. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Send me a link when you post it, i'd love to read it!
DeleteYou're a good writer! Looking forward to read more! Now I'm curious...
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteI say very interesting. Hmmm..... I want to hear more.
ReplyDeleteI have read the last I remember. It was intriguing and interesting. I loved this part. You are a great writer I must say. I can't wait for more to come :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much x
DeleteI feel like this from time to time! Juse quite content with being a watcher but no in a weird way! 😂 Great story . Ree Love30
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this very much. I'd love to see where the story goes! Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteYay! Another part! I am really enjoying it so far! It's amazing.
ReplyDeleteTina von S | http://lifestylerookie.com/
Thank you so much! :)
DeleteOdlicno! Jedva cekam nastavak!
ReplyDeleteXoXo
Hvalaaa <3
DeleteThis is getting more and more fascinating! I wonder what he'll say!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteYou'll find out on October 9th ;)
I'd be a social butterfly too if it meant I only had to have enough friends to count on one hand. Lol
ReplyDeletehahah me too
DeleteSuch an intriguing read and I have to say thanks for sharing!
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Wow I really love your writing. I think you should continue writing more because you got a fan!
ReplyDeleteThank you <3
DeleteThis reminds me of pocketbook romance. Great write and interesting characters
ReplyDeletecan you please post the next part faster than planed, fascinating and this really had me glued to read.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad :) Hm if i manage to write it faster (which i doubt), then sure lol
DeleteWow! I've never written a story but been having this idea that there are two ways to write a novel - make it as a mathematic equation or just let it flow and see where it takes you.
ReplyDeleteYou can't really make it as a mathematic equation, but you can make a plan and 'construction' :)
DeleteIn my opinion, this is how writing a book should start :) Creating a draft, see how it goes, and better yet, if you can share with your readers, that's a lot more useful than people think. Writing doesn't need to be a solitary activity. I don't know if you've heard of Scribophile, but it's a very cool community where people share their drafts and work in progress. Anyway, I really like where this is going, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletei used to love writing stories when i was younger (still schooling) but somehow the ideas just stopped coming. I think you've portrayed Ana's feelings very well here, with her actual reluctance to sort of entertain a total stranger and yet, also didn't want to be rude to him to ignore him. I wonder how his story will go.
ReplyDeleteThis is the part that i love : “There are people whose lives are but a ripple in the water. Invisible, inaudible, unreal, they leave no print in the sandy desert of humankind. We do not know whence they came into our midst, and when they depart, we know not why or where they have gone.”
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful passage!
This was completely captivating to read. I think perhaps you should write that book, your writing is so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI felt myself absorbed by her character, perhaps because i'm also quite a like.. Keep writing, you have an exceptional talent! I look forward to reading on of your books one day.
Continue writing; you're totally good at it. I guess we have one promising writer on the making here. :) Keep the ideas flowing. Continhe to write drafts and you may look back and see where it takes you.
ReplyDeleteI love stories like these. Strangers talking about their life and thoughts, giving advice and realizing that everything is okay, that there's someone feeling like the way you do. I cant wait for October 9. I wanna know who the guy is. :)
ReplyDeleteOctober 9 is a week from now. Now we will somehow know his relevance in her life. Will he be part of her life or just some random guy she met.
ReplyDeleteI liked that she thinks there is nothing special about her yet she managed to talk about herself continuously. She is self-aware. Interesting story dear. It's thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteOoh. Don't call it the book you'll never write. You're already writing it! And that's so much better than not even starting. Looking forward to how this unfolds :)
ReplyDeleteHer story is quite interesting. I'll definitely catch up the upcoming one, it would be tomorrow, right? I'll try to check your blog from time to time then for me to read on the next post. :)
ReplyDelete