About silver linings and morning coffees

11:51:00 AM

Yugoslav drama theater in Belgrade

In the last post we discussed what is happiness. But how to achieve it? I consider myself a truly, genuinely happy person. Me and my life are a mess (just like everyone else - some are just better at hiding it), but i learned to deal with it. These are some things i personally think are important to live a happy life.

1. Make yourself your own best friend. That means that you should know yourself - without idealizing or hating. Be realistic. Know what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what comforts you. Don’t depend on others and wait for them to take care of you, make yourself feel good. Also take care of yourself, and if you need, tell yourself you’re being an idiot and you should stop doing something.

2. What others think of you is none of your business. You can’t completely stop caring for opinions of others, because humans are social beings. What you can do is stop letting opinions of others control you and your life. If someone is being mean to you, that means they’re unhappy themselves and by putting others down they try to make themselves feel better. Poor souls. When you put it like that, you’ll cope with negativity easier.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain


3. Find what you love and let it kill you. Well it doesn’t necessarily have to kill you, but find what makes you happy and makes you feel alive. Something that makes you feel like you have a purpose and fills your soul with fire, and then dedicate yourself to it.

4. Karma and forgiveness. I personally believe in karma - i like the idea that everyone will at some point, somewhere, somehow get what they deserve, good or bad, it doesn’t matter. I don’t plan revenge and get on lower level, instead i forgive and just let karma get them. That made me so much happier, because negative energy will get you nowhere and nothing good can come out of hate. If someone treats me badly i just leave, because truly i ain’t got any business there no more.

5. Silver lining. I strongly believe that there’s always something good in bad situations. There’s a reason why everything is happening the way it is, and if you didn’t get what you had wanted that’s probably because you’ll later get or earn something better… or at least you’ll learn valuable lesson (it’s happening to me all the time, this is not just something i found on tumblr). In fact, every good thing that happened to me, happened because of the way i dealt with something bad from the past.

6. Be grateful. It’s not about having everything, it’s about being satisfied with what you have. You have things some people can only dream of. Appreciate that. BUT that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to work hard for what you want and be ambitious; it’s not, not at all.

7. Open your mind. Judgement and hate will get you nowhere good. Open your mind, listen what others have to say, don’t generalize, don’t assume something is wrong just because it’s different. Try to understand something that you’re not familiar with rather than being an absolute asshole and making someone feel bad for something they shouldn’t.

8. Escape the routine. I know you love your morning coffee or playing with your dog every time you come back from school or work. Some routines are lovely and they make us feel good; but if your life becomes a routine, that’s not so good.
“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life” - Robin Sharma
9. Learn. I don’t like studying (why would i be fan of wasting time in front of a book full of facts i’ll forget right after an exam) but i love learning, it’s beautiful. Be curious, discover, learn new skills. Grow.

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60 comments

  1. Dunja,

    Those are really nice points you made. I especially like having the attitude of gratitude. It is important for us to find things to be grateful for, rather than focusing on negativities. Having the right attitude allows us to take a negative situation and make it become positive!

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  2. Hi there! I agree with all of the points, but the points that resonated with me the most are numbers 2,3,5, and 8. I recognize the Charles Bukowski quote too because it's my favorite and I try to live my life following my heart and doing the things that I love. :) stay happy and keep loving life!

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  3. Awesome post.. it has changed my way of looking at life now.. keep writing

    Regards
    Salman Noorani

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  4. I absolutely adore this list that you have compiled; I think number 5 resonates with me the most though "there is always something good in bad situations." Three years ago I was made redundant from my role; I decided to travel to Europe and while I was there not only did I discover my life's calling but I also met the love of my life.

    Thank you for your beautiful post, you have made my day! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm happy to hear that! It's amazing where life can lead us.

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  5. I think it takes time to change, takes time to accept yourself as you are and stop caring what others think about you. It grows with confidence and it takes time and understanding to get to that point when you transform from a girl into a powerful woman. It depends on your background and your childhood has a lot to do with how you perceive yourself. I wish it would be easier... :)

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    Replies
    1. It's a constant battle, i think person who's 100% self confident and doesn't care about opinions of others doesn't exist. We all have good and bad days.

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  6. Beautiful!!!! Thank you for sharing these messages. <3 These are all so important

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  7. This is the best life advice ever! Number one is the most importany and the rest follows :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I agree, basically being in peace with yourself is the key (in my opinion).

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  8. THANK YOU. You don't even know how helpful this is to me right now. I'm at a point where I don't know what I want my life to be and I find myself being pressured into what others think of me and whether I should change or "upgrade" my job to get better reactions. It's hard being best friends with myself (I gotta admit THAT) since when one side of me thinks an idea is great, the other one rebuts. Haha. We're more Frenemies.

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    1. I'm happy to hear that :) It takes a lot of time. Being surrounded with great and positive people can help a lot though, but at the end of the day it's all up to ourselves :)

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  9. Great advices. I definitely believe you can ind something good in every bad situation. Maybe not right away but soon enough. You have to be patient. Loved this post, xx

    adventurousmiles.com

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  10. I LOVE THIS POST!!! Sharing on Twitter & Pinterest, right now!

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  11. As usual, I love this! Great list, great insights, great writing! Thanks!! | www.haleyjsnyder.com

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  12. Such a great and thoughtful list. Sometimes we just need a reminder of all these things! Thanks:)

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  13. I enjoyed reading this post and I like your insight. I wrote something similiar here, have a read and let me knownwhat you think:

    http://www.abusybeeslife.com/the-attitude-of-gratitude/

    I am looking forward to reading more of your posts.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Just read your post and loved it.:)

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  14. After all, we must push ourselves out of our comfort zone and experience growth. Truly nice post my dear :)

    Nurse Alpha

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  15. This certainly tells us how to make extra efforts and grow out of our comfort zone. Great write-up

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  16. Couldn't agree more with this Dunja. Sometimes I need to be reminded how to keep happiness in my life, and this is exactly what I needed x

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  17. <3 I have been working on being more happy. I am so happy to be finding more post about how to achieve that.

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    Replies
    1. Glad to hear that :) I'm writing about happiness quite often, hope some of that will help you

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  18. This is wonderful. These 3 are my favorites and that I have started doing them over a year already.

    1. Find what you love and let it kill you
    2. Skip the Routine
    3. Learn

    I have always believed that we should follow our passion (esp.) when it comes to work. We should do the things that we love so that we won't have to ever work for a day.

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  19. This is a great post with some amazing ideas on how to approach life. It is all too easy to get stuck in the negative and mundane without a little bit of personal effort.

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  20. I really agree with #5, we share the same thought on this. Everthing happens for a reason, we may not understand it today, but sooner or later, we'll do.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Life has its amazing ways, if someone is meant to be, it will be.

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  21. Great post.I particularly like being grateful.I read before that in a Harvard study that people who counted about 5 things they were grateful for everyday reported feeling happier.I've been doing that and I feel happier and more content.

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    1. Thank you! Few years ago, i used to write everything good that happened to me on a small pieces of paper and put them in the jar. It's great because you start noticing little things in life and you start being so much grateful & happier.

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  22. I live by every single one of this. :)

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  23. I LOVE learning! I agree with you, not studying, but learning new things! I love being happy and finding new things that fill voids when they come about. I took many tips to heart, so thank you for helping me be a better person within myself.

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  24. I tell people to live the life they want and a few more tips like these, they always says it's easier said than done but I tell them, start doing it now and it would be easier the next time. I agree on all of this. Cheers!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's true that it's a LOT more easier said than done, but that's how life works, isn't it? :) We have to put a lot of effort in order to succeed.

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  25. What an inspiring post. I 100% agree. I'm practicing to be grateful everyday so instead of me sobbing with all my failures I tried to think all about the things thag I should be thankful

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    1. Thank you! Few years ago, i used to write everything good that happened to me on a small pieces of paper and put them in the jar. I recommend you to try because you'll start noticing small things and you'll become much more grateful and happier :)

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  26. Great points. Sometimes a little idealistic, but it's good to focus on the best side of the life. In hard times thats all we can do. In good times, we must be grateful. www.sofarsosabine.com

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  27. This is so awesome. A very good reminder for anyone (me) who is struggling with certain things in life. It's important to realize that we matter and we are good enough. We have to do what is right for us and not what we think others want is to do! We always have to look for the food...the positives!! I love your posts! They're so enlightening!

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  28. Lovely article. I love the tips you posted. I will try and use these as daily reminders. Thank you!

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  29. Wow. Your post is a great reminder of what is happening and what I should look out for to make my own happiness in life. I sometimes forget and let what others think of me rule my life, and your post really woke me up a bit and reminded me to change that attitude and love myself so I may also spread love and happiness to other people. :) Also the point of learning and trying out new things is something that I always try to achieve, as it kinda gives new meaning and perspective to our life, yes? :)

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  30. I love this! I agree with escaping your routing and changing things up. Sometimes you get stuck in a rut and you can't get out of it for anything. But then you leave it all behind and take a break and then all of the sudden it makes sense and you can move through the rut.

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  31. Agree, make yourself as a friend. By the way, awesome list of reminders. Thanks for sharing.

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