I thought i could make a post such as ‘facts about me’ so you can get to know me better. So.. my brain works very strangely, actually. Here are some random facts about me that are not useful at all. Please tell me i’m not the only one who does this.

1. I catch myself remembering ridiculous things such as color of the bike that was on the balcony of my best friend when i was five (it was red) but i can’t remember what i had for lunch yesterday.
When i meet someone, i will most likely not remember their name or who they are, but i will remember their birthday, zodiac sign, name of their dog, text on their t-shirt or their plans for the next day.
Also I always remember everyone’s birthdays BUT i never know what day is it today (moment when i finally stop being lost in space and time and check what date is it only to realize someone’s birthday passed 4 days ago happened to me more times than i want to admit). 

2. The things that catch my attention: I‘m focusing on details too much rather than the whole.
Once when i was coming home from school, i was in the bus, listening The Weeknd, minding my own business you know. At one point i noticed the eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes i’ve ever seen, dark and brown and warm and sparkly with little shadows around them. I didn’t even bother to look at the actual person the eyes were attached to (I spent rest of the ride trying not to look like a creep and stare).
When i started drawing more seriously, i had really hard time to stop paying attention to details only (HEY WHY WOULDN’T I SPENT 4 HOURS DRAWING ONE LEG SO THAT IT LOOKS PERFECT? REST OF THE BODY IS OUT OF PROPORTION BUT WHO CARES).

3. I LOVE trying new things. I’m the kind of person who will order the weirdest thing on the menu because it seems interesting and if it tastes like shit i will eat it anyway because i’m too stubborn and proud to admit my wild choice was slightly a mistake. My philosophy is, basically, “How will i know what is my favorite if i don’t try it all?” Which is maybe why i get bored way too fast so i need a change.

4. I’m incredibly unmotivated to do most of the things because i truly, from the bottom of my heart, don’t care. If something is important to me i will do literally everything for it to be exactly like i want it to, but for everything else? Nah. I’m also the queen of procrastination. (So basically my ability to memorize and learn fast is the only thing that got me through my education so far)
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5. I don’t always have time to read books, but when i do, i read 2 at the same time. I use 5 lip balms, or 0. I meet all my friends in 2 days or i spend time only by myself for a week. I eat too much or barely something. I’m all dolled up or looking like heroine addict after spending a day running away from zombies through forest. I can listen to music that’s incredible and timeless or jam to mainstream songs that make no sense. I usually try to be nice, but i’m also shady and sarcastic and a little bit of an asshole. I can hang out with someone in extra fancy cafe or we can hang out in a park at 2 am, i don’t mind. I’m never grey. Either black or white, and i love both. *Hannah Montana theme song softly playing in the background*

6. I’m pretty chill and rarely jealous over people. BUT when it comes to music (call this i-think-i’m-a-special-snowflake hipster syndrome, i don’t care) i’m really possessive. I don’t want anyone who is in my opinion basic to listen to my favorite songs/albums/artists (and i do realize how ridiculous that sounds). For example, yesterday Rihanna dropped her new album ANTi after 3 years and i’m completely obsessed with Higher and Desperado and those are MY songs. Mine mine mine (i can’t help but to imagine fucking seagulls from Ice Age).
Not to mention that “I want them to succeed and become more famous but i on the other hand want them to be only mine” feeling when it comes to not so well known artists or bands. Stupid I KNOW but i can’t help it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Picture that doesn't match the text taken on Zlatibor 2015.

* First of all, i can’t believe i already have nearly 1000 views and 40 comments! Thank you! ♥
Bukowski is one of favorite writers and if you follow me on instagram (if you’re not, what are you waiting for? Click here) you’ll probably see A LOT of his quotes. These are some of my favorite quotes and poems by him. This is actually a pretty basic choice as you can find all of this on tumblr but if you’ve never read him i hope i’ll encourage you to do so. In no particular order:

“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul”.

“I want whole world or nothing”.

“My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all.
Let it cling onto your back
and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly
it’s much better to be killed by a lover".

“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.“

“No one can save you but yourself - and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning - this is it.”

“I hear it in my clocks
it becomes knobs upon my dresser
it becomes paper on my floor
it becomes a shoehorn
a laundry ticket
it becomes
cigarette smoke
climbing a chapel of dark vines
it matters little
very little love is not bad
or very little life
what counts
is waiting on walls
i was born for this
I was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead".

“She’s mad but she’s magic - there’ no lie in her fire”.

“Some people never go crazy. What a truly horrible lives they must live”.

“Everywhere i see those who
crave nothing but
food, shelter and clothing;
they concentrate on that dreamlessly.
I don’t understand why these people do not vanish
I don’t understand why these people
do not expire

why the clouds
do not murder them
or why the dogs
do not murder them
or why the flowers and the children
do not murder them
i don’t understand

i suppose they’re murdered
yet i can’t adjust to the
fact of them
because they are so many.”

“Love breaks my bones and i laugh”.

“We’re here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us”.

“Little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won’t flinch and
i won’t blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won’t blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons, our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won’t use it
yet.”

“What matters the most is how well you walk through the fire”.

“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”

“If I never see you again
I will always carry you
Inside
Outside
On my fingertips
And at brain edges
And in centre’s centres
Of what I am
Of what remains.”

I could go on forever though, but the length might discourage some people :D. If you like it i can make the part II or post like this but for other author. Let me know!

I want to go to London and walk down the 5th avenue with Starbucks coffee in my hand and at the same time i want to travel to Nepal and experience their color festival and learn about Buddhism and at the same time i want to sleep whole day and at the same time i want to workout and be healthy and fit and at the same time i want to eat chocolate or McDonals until i throw up and at the same time i want long healthy relationship and at the same time i want to hook up with random guys, kiss them and break their heart and at the same time i want to be the best student who’s always learning and improving myself and at the same time i want to spend days in bed, watching Netflix and being on Instagram and Tumblr, and at the same time i want to go on a road trip through Europe with my best friends and at the same time i want to have few thousand dollars and spend everything on shopping and at the same time i want to help people in need and donate them money, and at the same time i want to wander around cities, museums, galleries until i’m too tired to even stand, and at the same time i want to go to some music festival and dance all night, and at the same time i want to have a sleepover with besties and eat pancakes, and at the same time i want to go to fancy parties with champagne and conversations about culture, and and the same time i want to stay in my room and draw and write and basically live in my own head.

Picture taken in London 2010.

This text was also published on Berlin ArtParasites.

3. Some things are fucking scary and you’ll be scared shitless but sometimes you just have to do it. Don’t think, just do it.

6. You have to learn to accept yourself. I know it’s hard and that you’d rather be someone else. Someone prettier. smarter, more popular, richer, skinnier, better. But you can only be you. Good news; you can be prettier, smarter, more popular, richer, skinnier, better you if you work hard on yourself and never give up. And accept yourself as a bunch of flaws and learn to love yourself for it. Get to know yourself better. ‘If a lion knows his strength, no man can control him’.

10. Laugh. Laugh until your stomach hurts and you cry and you pee in your pants a little and look like a mess. But who cares? It’s the best feeling ever.